So, it’s the Christmas season and things get a bit silly. Here are some fun excuses for pulling a sickie from School in advance of the festive holidays.
- I was bored with all the festivities at school and wanted to get ahead with my revision for next year. Try this one first: it’s likely to earn you a gold star.
- I had a giant boil on my nose… because I found the secret stash of Christmas chocolates and unfortunately ate them all. You were obviously frightened the offending boil might explode on your fellow pupils and were only doing the decent thing by staying away.
- Father Christmas was in dire straits. What could you do? American scientists recently calculated that Santa would have to travel at 850 miles per second to deliver to every home in the world on Christmas Eve. Obviously he doesn’t want to break the speed limit so he started early in your neighbourhood. But the sleigh crash landed near your house. You had to call the vet and administer milk and cookies to the shocked animals and help Mr Claus reprogram his sat nav.
- I sprained my ankle falling off 4-inch heels at a party. This affected my ability to write, listen and think, so school would have been a waste of time. Ankles can affect the whole body, you know, in a holistic kind of way.
- I’ve asked for a new mobile phone for Christmas as the alarm on my current one is faulty. Yesterday it failed to get me up for school. Naughty Samsung.
- I got trapped in a shopping mall overnight, as I got disorientated in the Christmas-shopping crowds and ended up locked in a grotto. This is one for you if you’re not always the sharpest of students.
- I was so overwhelmed with the beauty of everything in the world and all the sparkles and happiness when they turned the town Christmas lights on, I could not stop smiling and had to go to see a physiotherapist the next day. A good one if your teachers know you as an emotional young adult prone to bursting into tears or getting too involved with the tragic characters in your set English texts.
- They say a dog is not just for Christmas – well, no, because we got our new puppy a few weeks early and it tore up my homework. It’s a variation on a classic excuse but always worth a go. You should add that you had to stay at home to complete the homework again as you’re such a diligent scholar.
- My elderly, lonely next-door-neighbour asked me to help her to put up her Christmas decorations. She is so desperate for company, and was so impressed about how interested I am in my school studies, she kept me chatting for hours. With my Citizenship Studies in mind I decided I should do the right thing and give her a break from her miserable existence. I was fascinated to learn she is a former teacher… Anyway, the next morning I really needed to catch up on my sleep so I can resume paying full attention in class.
- I am so grateful to you for being such a fantastic teacher I wanted to buy you a really special Christmas present as a thank you. I’d heard the posh wine store in town had some new cases of rare Chateauneuf du Pape in yesterday so I just had to take time off school to get you some. (Under your breath…sadly, there were too many people in front of me in the queue so you’ll get a 2for1 box of Tesco chocolates instead.)
A final word to the wise (three men or otherwise…did you know The Bible does not make reference to how many wise men there were?!): don’t take any of this too seriously.
Have a great Christmas holiday.